Gearing Up For The Journey Ahead

I. Clearing The Mental Fog
The cathartic release provided through these online musings has been nothing short of a saving grace. How cleansing it has been to finally purge my mind of so many of the myriad of thoughts that seem to be forever tornadically spinning about in my mind. Already my writing--and my general state of mind--is moving to a more eager and anticipatory tone rather than the silent pensive, and mostly worrisome, one. Finally, to borrow a quote from Cool Hand Luke, I seem to be "getting my mind right."

I haven't had such eagerness to train, I think, since my days at Ohio University. Training was so much easier to find the time for then. 3 classes a week--no problem. Need a break from studying? Head to the rec center and train. Hell, I'd even go to club on Friday nights while my roomate and a good friend were out on the town hitting Happy Hour at The Nick. The 10-cent beers would wait until after training, where--as you might suspect--I would all too often make up for lost time.

Now, though, it's up to me to make the time, which is an entirely different endeavor. If I can just sustain this motivation and avoid the devilish lure of a comfy couch and a warm blanket, I believe I'll find myself in a very good position come December. There was even a new song bouncing about in my head on the way home from training to take the place of that damned rainbow song:

"I'm not giving in to security under pressure
I'm not missing out on the promise of adventure
I'm not giving up on implausible dreams
Experience to extremes
Experience to extremes"

Thank you, Neil Peart.

I still have yet to state for certain that I do intend to test this year to my instructors, but I feel that time is nearing---just so long as I'm confident that I'll carry through with the necessary self training. Given the hours and money spent prepping the basement, I damn well better.


II. The Nightmare Continues
Work in the basement has continued, with the Dojo Kun and Niju Kun taking their proper place beneath the photo of Gichin Funakoshi and beside my makiwara. And, with the unplanned addition of a gas heater in the basement, I won't have to train in the cold much longer. It wasn't one of my wisest expenses, but the prospect of taking the chill out of the basement air and a 50% off sale at Lowe's was simply too much to pass up. Bear in mind, however, that installing this new piece of equipment falls under the realm of Mohr Family Remodeling Nightmare projects, and is therefore doomed to be immeasurably more difficult than it appears it ever should be. Already I've had to do some prep work on the old chimney face that I hope to mount it to and already I've run into trouble. In order to hit the required clearance overhead, I'll have to cut off flush with the brick the old cleanout cap that is too well sealed to remove, tuck in another smaller cap inside the remnants and find some type of bond to seal and secure the new cap. It's just another day at the Mohr Family Remodeling Nightmare...

Days to Dan PreTest #1: 51

All The Colors of the Rainbow

There is a terribly annoying song on one of my son's toys. Like most child development toys, it starts out innocent enough but after a few hundred plays one begins to dread hearing that all-too-perky female voice singing:

"All the colors of rainbow
Are so beautiful to me

All the colors of the rainbow
Are smiling back at me"

Looking down at my just completed puzzle mat mosaic, it was that song that first entered my mind...and it has remained there now for nearly 24 hours. Smirking a bit from the humor of it, even now as I write here I find myself self singing:

"There's Red, Orange, Yellow
Green, Blue, Purple

Red, Orange, Yellow
Green, Blue, Purple"

Funny though it may be, if I can't purge my wind of this wretched song I believe I'll soon go mad.

Training took a short course last night after finishing laying the floor down. All in all, it amounted to little more than a few slow walkthroughs of one beginner kata, one intermediate kata, and Jion, which will likely be my test kata if all goes as planned. Hardly an intense workout, but it was my first chance to give the completed floor a whirl, so at least I got that in.

The floor complete, I'm now turning my attention to a few other lingering items. The Dojo Kun and Niju Kun still need to be hung on the wall near my makiwara and the repairs to the frame hodling my dan certificate are a top priority. And, for the sake of sheer caution, I'll have to find a 5" pole pad to cover the support beam in the basement that unfortunately stands amidst my rainbow of puzzle mats. Soon enough, I suppose. Progress is progress and things continue to feel like they're moving in the right direction...

Days to Dan PreTest#1: 53

Remodeling for Karate

I never would have guessed that, in an attempt to prepare myself for the journey ahead, that I might end up doing even more work around the house. I had long since sworn off my scattered array of tools and any more novice efforts at home repairs. However, with self-training being a major key to success, I was forced to find a way to create a space for kata training. Living in a 60-year-old Cape Cod with an unfinished basement, this was no small task. With 1/4 of the basement being used for storage, what's left is largely taken up by a pool table that I inherited after my brother's passing. But something had to be done--and fast.

I started searching for martial arts mats all over the internet and local exercise companies. A few runs through Jion on the bare concrete floor and this quickly became a necessity. The only problem was their cost. Spending over $300 on high quality martial arts mats would once have been just an acceptable cost for being able to train at home. That was long before I became a husband and a father. Now, it's ever more apparent that my bourgeois tastes must compromise to meet my pauper's budget. And here again, it was one of my senior instructors who saved the day. Sensei Kim Weber had mentioned after training last Tuesday that Sam's Club might have an acceptable substitute. A few phone calls later, and sure enough, in stock were some .5" multi-color reversible mats that just might do well enough to serve my needs. For about 1/3 of the cost of the quality mats I really desire, I was able to purchase enough mats to provide a little insulation and cushion while working the various kata.

Of course--as with every other project at the Mohr Family Remodeling Nightmare--installing the mats couldn't go smoothly. I first laid the 32 4sq.ft. tiles out 4 wide by 8 deep with all the grey sides up beginning at the basement stairwell. All was well and fine until I realized I was covering over the basement drain and the hose running from the furnace. Seeking a new home for them, I looked at the last remaining somewhat vacant corner of the basement. A few quick measurements proved it likely to be a tight fit. But if I moved the old couch that now serves as my dog's bed up against the basement stairwell where the mats now laid along with the recliner, the table, and the area rug--I just might be able to squeeze the mats in and have an acceptable space for kata training.

I set to breaking the puzzle mats down, moving furniture, and sweeping and mopping the floor, whereupon the next problem would rear it's ugly head. The corner I now hoped to use for kata training was, in fact, once a coal storage bin. Years ago, I had broken down the walls and cleaned the area up, but there were still 3 large bolts sticking out of the floor a 1/2" or so that could do some rather unkind damage to both the mats and my feet. Thankfully, a good friend whom I've know literally since the day I was born stopped by on a bitter cold day with the disc cutter I needed to remedy the problem.

The floor now cleaned, prepped, and ready for the mats, I set out to move them over, keeping the rainbow array of colors face down and only showing the gray. But of course that wouldn't do, either. Pat, who was all too kind in bringing his disc cutter over, was quick to point out just how much my son, Aidan, would love the colored mats. Reluctantly, his idea eventually won out and my kata practice floor is now a mosaic of yellow, blue, green, and red tiles with offset color borders on all the pieces. Even worse, the red tiles are really pink (we just call them red in one last meager attempt to soothe my ego). Truth be told, Pat's right. Aidan will likley love the chance to play on those mats, so I'll just have to suck it up and deal.

A few walkthroughs of Jion and Heian Shodan proved that I'm still not quite wide enough with the mats to practice without stepping off them, even with stutter stepping. One more trip to Sam's will remedy that, however, and I will be good to go there. Once finished with the floor, I'll add a few more items to the surrounding walls and, hopefully, acheive at least some of the look of my humble home dojo that I desire. A photo of Gichin Funakoshi, the Dojo Kun, the Niju Kun, and my Shodan certificate--all items long ignored and buried in storage--will soon adorn the walls once again. Storage not being kind to my dan certificate, what will hopefully be minor surgery using wood glue can repair the joints of the custom frame built by my good friend, Tood Bean, in Athens, Ohio. Just like my reflections on past years of training, it's one of those items I honestly treasure, and seeing it in such a poor state seems a fitting comment on my lack of training in recent years.

All things considered, though, I went to work on all the furniture moving, cleaning, and rearranging with a crooked smile on my face throughout. Things just feel better, and I feel like I'm moving forward...

Days to Dan PreTest#1: 54

Back To The Proving Ground

I. A Quiet Return
With slumped shoulders and a hesitant posture, I walked through the doors of my dojo. My body was a bit sore from the short training the night before, allowing my nemisis, that inner Doubting Thomas, to continually taunt me as I donned my gi for the first time in months. Still, there was comfort to be found among the faces of the old friends that greeted me. Terry Collis, one of my senior instructors from my time at a club that has since lost its home, arrived and no doubt he was a pleasant sight. Conversation quickly turned to Terry saying "Hey, I was just going to email you a few days back wondering where you've been." "No matter, now" I told myself. I was here tonight. A short list of recent injuries and other excuses and the conversation quickly turned to more pleasant topics.

I've always been a deep admirer of Terry's trainings because of his focus on the more practical applications rather than tournament scoring. That, coupled with this evening's focus of proper breating and relaxing the body quickly reminded me of how much I missed my days at the old Tri-City YMCA. Still, there is much to be learned from my instructors here at Anderson and it's evident in the successes club members here just acheived. 6 students and both of my instructors tested for various dan ranks in December. All of them passed.

Truth be told, it was reading news of the test results in our newsletter that I largely credit for helping to reignite this desire to return to my martial path. I, too, had hoped to test last December. But I let the year fly past me with nothing more than occassional trainings--and virtually no self-training at home--and so was left wanting, still living the life of the "eternal shodan."

II. Learning What It Takes
When the training was complete, I timidly approached sensei Jeff Weber, one of my chief instructors--and now Yondan (4th degree black belt)--at Shotokan Karate of Anderson. Amazingly, he smiled, shook my hand and welcomed me back, stating only that he'd like to see more of me in the coming months. I hesitantly broached the issue of testing for Nidan (second degree black belt), not knowing what to expect. The response was fitting: "If that is what you want to do, then you tell us that you're on that path...and we'll get you there."

It's yet one more aspect to sucessful training, I think. One can bobble the thoughts of testing in their minds all they like. But in order to have the attention of my instructors in traveling that next portion along my martial path, he wants to hear me say it. More importantly, I have to mean it.

After changing back into my "civies" (work clothes, as I travel to training when my work day concludes), I took the opportunity to speak with my other senior instructor, Kim Weber, whom is also now the rank of Yondan. Again I was met with a warm greeting and again I apolgized for being so sporadic in my attendance in the past year. The prospect of testing I again began to speak of and quickly I began to understand just what it takes to prepare to take that next step along my martial path. Looking back from the perspective of a couch-bound sot it is a journey too daunting to attempt; looking forward through the eyes of a karateka hoping to end an aimless wandering of senseless, directionless training it is a journey that can be delayed no longer.

I returned home and began to look over the 2008 ISKF events calendar. The beginnings of my 2008 training schedule were drafted and took the form of the following:



Intimidated, scared, and excited, a course now lays before me for my training to find direction again. Far from wandering aimlessly through the bamboo forest, a straight line trail that might return me to my martial path stares back at me from the kitchen table. Still, my Doubting Thomas is figthing me. I haven't yet told Jeff or Kim that "Yes, I am on the path to testing," for there is no turning back at that point and my wandering mind still battles making that commitment...

Setting My Sights

I. Taking Those First Steps
With much trepidation, I stood before the makiwara (punching board) that has hung in silent abuse for nearly one-half year in my basement. Looking nearly as fresh and new as the day it was first won in a silent auction at our karate club's annual fundraiser last August, it seemed to mock my ignoring it. Humbled, if not ashamed, I slowly sank into a front stance, checked my distance, and delivered 10 right-handed (my weak hand) soft reverse punches to the pad. It's amazing just how many mistakes one can notice when hitting something other than air! The heel of my back foot was lurching skyward, any idea of whole body connection seemed only an unanswered wish, and my targeting was abysmal. Still, my hip rotation seemed to be at least reasonably correct--so I took what little satisfaction I could in that. With minor increases in speed and power, I unleashed 40 more reverse punches before switching hands and repeating the process.

Once work set out on my strong side (left-hand), things appeared to settle down just a bit. The heel of my back foot kept a firmer grip on the mat below it. The power and focus of the punch were slighlty improved. Even the speed was able to pick up just a little bit more on the last set of 10. That exercise complete now, I moved on to a series of back stance knife-hand strikes, focusing on my stance and hip rotation. Focus and rotation felt good here, however the stance leaves much to work on.

Moving on to kicking drills, any vain ideas of a quick return to form were instantly rebuked. Trying futilely to deliver 10 soft front snap kicks with my right foot without letting my foot return to the floor between kicks put a quick end to any of that kind of thinking. Dear God, how terrible my balance had gotten! I struggled migthily, but finally finished off 2 sets of 10 kicks with each leg before closing up shop for the night with a few pushups and leg lifts.

II. Fear & Excitment
In a mere 30 minutes, I had discovered just how much my physical skills in karate had diminished. Little of all my past learning seemed left and past feelings of unworthiness when wearing my black belt seemed more than justified. And so the first, and perhaps greatest, obstacle had arrived--my own mind. Self doubt can, with little more than a few fleeting (but always lurking) thoughts, destroy the dreams and aspirations of any man. I truly believe that it is one's own lack of confidence that all too often prevents them from acheiving their full potential. For certain, it was no small factor among a litany of things that have kept me out of the dojo for quite some time.

"BUT NO MORE!"

"No more will I allow my own mind to defeat me before I even begin! No more will I fall victim to the trap of never starting for fear of ever failing!"

And with that parting shot to my own inner "Doubting Thomas", I began to prepare myself for the next obstacle: a return to the dojo.

Tomorrow I will return to the dojo and my instructors at Shotokan Karate of Anderson. They have been all too kind in the past given my sporadic attendance and half-hearted devotion. I only hope that I can greet them with a smile and see one in return...

Wandering In A Bamboo Forest

I. Humble Beginnings
With the dawn of the New Year, I find myself looking inward and seeking once again to return to the martial path that I took my first steps on over 13 years ago. My first introduction to the martial arts was on a tired and splintered gym floor at Ohio University in a physical education class. It was there that I first began training with senseis Howard Bebee and Karen Richards. My interest in the arts had been burning inside me for years, but only then did the opportunity to explore the arts finally present itself. I took full advantage of the opportunity before me, taking 2 introductory classes through the university and joining the OU Karate Club. Fast forward through 4 years of training, 1 back surgery, college graduation, and finding a new club back home...and at last, the rank of Shodan (1st degree black belt) was finally achieved. At last, I was a serious beginner in 1999 and ready to begin more deeply exploring the martial art of Shotokan Karate.

II. Losing My Way
Life, general laziness, lackidasical training, and the loss of my hometown club--and any other litany of excuses--has kept me at the rank of Shodan for now nearly 8 years. Half-hearted attempts to find my lost path were met with tired (and sore) frustration, the sporadic training only fueling emotions of always starting over and never progressing. The path, it seemed, was lost. Unbeknownst to me at the time, it wasn't the path that was ever lost at all but me. The martial path I had begun so long ago that once shouted out for me to continue my journey was now nothing more than an annoying whisper---and one that I tried to ignore.

III. Returning To The Path
That whisper from deep within my mind has begun to chatter a bit louder in this New Year. I fear ignoring it any longer might finally discourage it to the point of falling silent, a fate the larger part of me feared even when attempting to quiet it. Again there is a "fire in my belly," a yearning in my soul to return to the path. "Do it now!" I hear thundering. "Or risk forever wandering along a path with no direction...and no destination."
And so it is now that I pick up arms once again and seek to return to the martial path I have ignored. Travel with me, if you like, as I take a little time to cache my thoughts here and prepare for a year dedicated to journey a little further down my martial path. If all goes well, these next 11 months will prepare both my mind and body to finally test for my next grade. Still, it's not passing the test that most concerns me. Rather, it's simply to find my way back along the martial path that I have long ignored. If having an exam date on the horizon will help sustain my motivation, so be it. But in the end, if only I can blaze a trail out of the forest that returns me to the path, this year will not be one wasted.

IV. Looking Ahead
Perhaps the old maxim about the first steps being the most difficult holds much more than a grain of truth. Even now, as I write and begin my preparations, I do not feel as if I have returned to my martial path. In truth, I've only just now begun trying to find the path once more. It looms on the horizon, I believe, obscured by the responsibilities and trivialities of Life. Only time will tell if I will overcome the obstacles obscuring the path, but rest assured those efforts are underway...