Setting My Sights

I. Taking Those First Steps
With much trepidation, I stood before the makiwara (punching board) that has hung in silent abuse for nearly one-half year in my basement. Looking nearly as fresh and new as the day it was first won in a silent auction at our karate club's annual fundraiser last August, it seemed to mock my ignoring it. Humbled, if not ashamed, I slowly sank into a front stance, checked my distance, and delivered 10 right-handed (my weak hand) soft reverse punches to the pad. It's amazing just how many mistakes one can notice when hitting something other than air! The heel of my back foot was lurching skyward, any idea of whole body connection seemed only an unanswered wish, and my targeting was abysmal. Still, my hip rotation seemed to be at least reasonably correct--so I took what little satisfaction I could in that. With minor increases in speed and power, I unleashed 40 more reverse punches before switching hands and repeating the process.

Once work set out on my strong side (left-hand), things appeared to settle down just a bit. The heel of my back foot kept a firmer grip on the mat below it. The power and focus of the punch were slighlty improved. Even the speed was able to pick up just a little bit more on the last set of 10. That exercise complete now, I moved on to a series of back stance knife-hand strikes, focusing on my stance and hip rotation. Focus and rotation felt good here, however the stance leaves much to work on.

Moving on to kicking drills, any vain ideas of a quick return to form were instantly rebuked. Trying futilely to deliver 10 soft front snap kicks with my right foot without letting my foot return to the floor between kicks put a quick end to any of that kind of thinking. Dear God, how terrible my balance had gotten! I struggled migthily, but finally finished off 2 sets of 10 kicks with each leg before closing up shop for the night with a few pushups and leg lifts.

II. Fear & Excitment
In a mere 30 minutes, I had discovered just how much my physical skills in karate had diminished. Little of all my past learning seemed left and past feelings of unworthiness when wearing my black belt seemed more than justified. And so the first, and perhaps greatest, obstacle had arrived--my own mind. Self doubt can, with little more than a few fleeting (but always lurking) thoughts, destroy the dreams and aspirations of any man. I truly believe that it is one's own lack of confidence that all too often prevents them from acheiving their full potential. For certain, it was no small factor among a litany of things that have kept me out of the dojo for quite some time.

"BUT NO MORE!"

"No more will I allow my own mind to defeat me before I even begin! No more will I fall victim to the trap of never starting for fear of ever failing!"

And with that parting shot to my own inner "Doubting Thomas", I began to prepare myself for the next obstacle: a return to the dojo.

Tomorrow I will return to the dojo and my instructors at Shotokan Karate of Anderson. They have been all too kind in the past given my sporadic attendance and half-hearted devotion. I only hope that I can greet them with a smile and see one in return...